It’s the night before I leave to London. Everything is packed, clothes for tomorrow are set, and tickets are printed and waiting. Truth be told, I also just pigged out on the cheesiest Mexican food and largest margarita I could get my hands on. Saying goodbye to my best friend Amy tonight was harder then I thought, but no tears. Instead it’s excitement and anxiety that’s supplying this last bit of energy to do another check around my room. I’m 22 and have never moved away from home, so I guess when you do something do it big. Right? My mom is coming to help me set up, so at least that’s an extra week of having my mommy with me.

Too many thoughts and emotions inside of me that I consider going outside my character and become a sudden stoner. That would help dull out these nerves. But it’s too late and unrealistic to pick up that habit so I guess just good old fashion deep breathing will have to do.

I’m not scared about moving to another country. I love other cultures. I love different, strange, and of course I would be lying if I said I didn’t love the accent. What scares me most is leaving my momma. It’s been just the two us since my dad died when I was 12. We’re not just close. We’re more of the kicking-everyone’s-ass-at-charades-we-should-go-pro kind of a close. But thank you 21 century and skype with all its glory. Now I just need Apple to get off their ass and have the hologram phone call feature for the Iphone 6.

I’m so tired from feeling too much. I could put my head down on the pillow, but that would mean a fast restless nights sleep and waking up to a flight. There are many times I can look back and say ‘right there. Right at that moment is when it changed.’ But very few times in out lives do we take footsteps knowing that every step is change that you will remember forever. I’m always going to remember the day I moved to England. I’m going to remember that I boarded that plane knowing my life was going to change forever. Knowing that in the following days, months, years I’m going to grow up, laugh my ass off, fall on my ass, pick myself back up, cry, and as always, laugh. It’s going to be a change and a challenge that in theory I brought onto myself. But I never had a choice. In the summer of 2010 when I stepped off that bus to be right in front of the Thames seeing London and its life, I realized I never had a choice. London is part of my life, and it’s going to help develop the person I’m going to be.

So with that I will go to bed in my large American bed, in my large American room, and know that London is waiting for me, just like I have been waiting for it. Just like I have been waiting for this moment to go off and be on my own in my life. This a moment I will remember forever, this is my Preface.



One thought on “Preface

  1. Oh, Jac, you are so awesome. I’m so glad you are writing a blog! Now I can follow every step of your progress! Sounds awesome, awesome, awesome. I love it that there are only 3 people in your program, and there are 10 professors. You are out-numbered. And always remember: They would not have accepted you into the program if they thought you couldn’t succeed. Write me if you have any questions or need something clarified. Love you, Dr. W

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